It is so hard when ..

The people you are closest to have no idea what you have to go through mentally to get through each day. They think I'm over-reacting. They say to "cheer up" as if I could do it in a beat. I can't even get help from my own doctor /le sigh. Oh, and the fact that people have been able to keep secrets from me, and therefore keep me out of their lives .. Yeah. That actually hurts.