Apparently ...

Apparently, my having anxiety is just another little thing to brush off to the side. I doubt that most other people in the world have thoughts of death to end the pain associated with anxiety. Not that I would ever think of killing myself, but sometimes it just hurts that much. Like I don't want to exist anymore. And after years of talking every day I had thought that that person would be able to understand it. But I guess if that person don't suffer from the same pain, headaches, worry, etc., it doesn't make sense to that person. It's hard explaining what I go through - panic attacks and feeling like the universe is closing in on you. I know I'm not alone, and I'm so glad to find people who suffer in the same way I do because it makes it that much easier. But please, don't ever tell me "oh, everyone goes through the same thing," because I can confidently tell you that not everyone has it as bad as we do. And I am okay with knowing that my anxiety still is under control when I hear others' stories about their episodes. Makes me wish there was an easy fix to all of this so that we wouldn't all have to put up with it by ourselves! It's hard knowing that the person I lean on will never fully understand what I go through on a daily basis.

Don't know

My sister got engaged this Monday! Woo!

Also, I hit the 50k word mark in NaNoWriMo on Tuesday (only because I was crazily distracted when my sister got engaged!! I wanted to finish by Monday!).

Yuuki's familiars should be shipping out this weekend? Idk if Aileen Doll will remember to add my Penny to my order. I guess if not, I can just go crazy on them on their Q&A. I mean, we've only sent correspondence every week for the past three weeks. No big deal or anything!!!!!

I also finally got a shipping confirmation email for these two beauties! I hope hope HOPE that I will be able to pick them up on Wednesday. Fingers crossed for that! I will be way too busy to pick them up on Friday. Well, not busy. I have to work from 8-4:30 so there's no way I will be able to do that lol. I guess I could always just let them get delivered to the house, but I'm a bit scared, even with my family possibly staying home all day!

And that has been my random update!

Double Yuukis

Earlier this month, I bought a silvery-gray wig off of eBay for Yuuki, thinking I might as well start looking for one now that she's here. The white wig she's been wearing has been a temporary fix, but I've been too lazy and/or broke to find her a permanent wig. This one arrived today, but it was ridiculously thin at the top. I was going to contact the seller to get a refund, but it seemed like too much work for my $25 back (shipping would have been to China and I didn't wanna deal with that). So I'm going to try to make this work.

The first thing I noticed, however, was not the thinness, but the length of the wig. Looking at the auction/listing, it looked like the wig would just fall below her knees. Well. I was pleasantly surprised that it is long enough to be dragging on the floor. JUST like Pullip Yuuki's was! Seriously, Pullip Yuuki was wearing an SD wig, and it even touched the floor on my old SDs :'P That thing was MASSIVE.

I have been wanting to take a picture of my minifee with Pullip Yuuki for a while now, but have been too lazy to get her down from my bookcase. I thought since minifee Yuuki's wig came in, it was a good time to do it! Seeing them together like this, they are so different! But the character is really coming alive in my heart once again, and I'm so happy to have them both here with me.

Since we're on the topic, my novel for NaNoWriMo is at about 45k words right now. Well, missing pieces here and there, just like it was in 2009. But I'm making such good progress with it. I thought I'd come alive again when minifee Yuuki arrived, and having her in front of me is just so motivating. Once Ryo comes in (I'm expecting him to come in January. He was a last minute tan skin order through DDE.) - that'll be great! And I know I'm gonna want to make a doll version of all my OCs, just because that's how my brain worked in the past, haha. Soon, I'll have to find a YoSD for Reinor, another minifee for Xyrnne ... Not too much money is flowing in right now, though, unfortunately :'P I'll have to stick with having Yuuki and Ryo for now and make the best of it!

We meet again.

Last month, I decided to attempt NaNoWriMo again. It has been years since I've done it - lots of emotional struggles and just LIFE have kept me from writing, which I used to love so much. With the Priestess coming home in MSD form (my newest MNF Miyu), I've found it easier to find motivation to work on her story. After all, how can I introduce her to my friends if she's got no story?! So, this year, I'm cheating a bit and editing and adding more to my previously unfinished attempt to write part of her story. Oddly enough, this is book 2 out of the trilogy (with one other minisode stuffed in between books 2 and 3), so I'll have to also be wary of keeping timelines and other oddities in check when I finally do get to writing the first book. For now, all these ideas are mixed in my head, on notebooks, in binders, in my email drafts, and on multiple word documents. It is craziness!

I am absolutely horrid with blurbs, so I don't even know if I can fully explain what it is I'm writing about. Though I know not everyone will want to be reading the 75+ pages of my still-expanding novel about her. Still, here's a silly little blurb of sorts that give the gist of this second book I'm writing.

The Priestess is back, with powers she never thought she would be capable of without the help of her spirit guardians. After a confusing re-introduction into the Ronins' lives, the Priestess has to face dark secrets about her past as she confronts old friends-turned-enemies. In this sequel to Winter Premiere, we find out the real mission with which YUUKI was sent to Earth, the reason that she hasn't been able to get back, and, even moreso, why she absolutely must find her way to AURYEALIS now more than ever before.

I have to admit - I am absolutely in love with this story right now, and I'm constantly in the mood to be surrounded by all my messy notes and on the computer typing every night. So much so that I often lose track of the time and find that it's way past my normal bed time. For instance, last night, I slept around 3 and was just so lazy to get out of bed. I finally pulled myself out because I had to use the bathroom, lol. By then, it was 12 noon! Oops! I'm just on such a writing high right now. I'm not going to let a night go by without doing some writing because I just know that one night without writing will be enough to undo it!

So that's what I've been up to lately!