Apparently ...

Apparently, my having anxiety is just another little thing to brush off to the side. I doubt that most other people in the world have thoughts of death to end the pain associated with anxiety. Not that I would ever think of killing myself, but sometimes it just hurts that much. Like I don't want to exist anymore. And after years of talking every day I had thought that that person would be able to understand it. But I guess if that person don't suffer from the same pain, headaches, worry, etc., it doesn't make sense to that person. It's hard explaining what I go through - panic attacks and feeling like the universe is closing in on you. I know I'm not alone, and I'm so glad to find people who suffer in the same way I do because it makes it that much easier. But please, don't ever tell me "oh, everyone goes through the same thing," because I can confidently tell you that not everyone has it as bad as we do. And I am okay with knowing that my anxiety still is under control when I hear others' stories about their episodes. Makes me wish there was an easy fix to all of this so that we wouldn't all have to put up with it by ourselves! It's hard knowing that the person I lean on will never fully understand what I go through on a daily basis.