Saturday, November 23, 2013

Apparently ...

Apparently, my having anxiety is just another little thing to brush off to the side. I doubt that most other people in the world have thoughts of death to end the pain associated with anxiety. Not that I would ever think of killing myself, but sometimes it just hurts that much. Like I don't want to exist anymore. And after years of talking every day I had thought that that person would be able to understand it. But I guess if that person don't suffer from the same pain, headaches, worry, etc., it doesn't make sense to that person. It's hard explaining what I go through - panic attacks and feeling like the universe is closing in on you. I know I'm not alone, and I'm so glad to find people who suffer in the same way I do because it makes it that much easier. But please, don't ever tell me "oh, everyone goes through the same thing," because I can confidently tell you that not everyone has it as bad as we do. And I am okay with knowing that my anxiety still is under control when I hear others' stories about their episodes. Makes me wish there was an easy fix to all of this so that we wouldn't all have to put up with it by ourselves! It's hard knowing that the person I lean on will never fully understand what I go through on a daily basis.


  1. Oh Amanda <3 I know this is a little late but I just wanted to give you a big hug. I have really awful anxiety stuff and it is the WORST when people can't understand - it's not always their fault, it's just... if you don't have it, you can't really understand it? :/ That's the problem with 'irrational' things I guess, people can't rationalise their way through it to make sense of it. Bleh. hugs!

    1. I'm still trying my best to come to terms with the fact that Justin will never understand what I go through. But I totally agree with you on that point that people who don't have the experience just don't know how to relate sometimes! Thank you for the love, Alice <3 :) I'm sorry that you have to go through it, too! Hope you are doing well!! *hugs*!