As always, I'm busy during the holidays with offline stuff ^__^; It's funny because lots of the time I'm just sitting in the family room being bored .. And yet I just don't feel like going up to my laptop hah. So I'm always completely out of the loop of everyone's lives around this time! Oops!
This time of year has been hard for me for the past 4 years, starting with problems with old church friends and all this not knowing the meaning of my life anymore. You see, I'm a very passionate person. When something makes sense to me, I will stick with it/to it with all my heart. But at the same time, my passions can be fleeting! I have gone through so many different musical instruments because I just *stopped liking piano* or *suddenly had the urge to learn guitar* lol.
I always look back at my past during this time of the year, and for the past few years, I have felt like I really don't deserve to be happy, even at Christmas. There is one big incident and many smaller ones linked to it that I really regret. And I never talk about it anymore because my brother blames me and makes me feel worse when I talk to him about it, my parents don't know enough about it, and my boyfriend is not the best because he was friends with this person that I had a problem with. I almost broke up with him over it because when we were fighting, he stuck with his friend and completely ignored my calls and texts. Worst thing he ever did lol =_= Anyways. Holiday season is always a struggle for me, which is why I suddenly become a bit absent |:
I'm glad to be home and not have anything to do, but when I'm not in school, I just feel like the days are so wasted - I'm not learning anything, not really doing anything, just eating and sleeping, etc :P I can't wait til January rolls around!